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Classics

Available as Slices or Whole Pies

Pizza of the Week

THe Festivus
12/15/25 – 12/28/25

Honey ham, fresh spinach, and roasted red peppers.

It’s a pizza for the rest of us. No tinsel. No jingles. No cheer you didn’t ask for. Just a glorious, grievance-airing, feat-of-strength-fueling slice stacked with enough ham and heat to carry you through the most judgmental season of the year.

Save your complaints for the dinner table—this pie is flawless.

Coming Soon

THe Meathead
12/29/25 – 1/11/25

Pepperoni, meatballs, and sausage. New year. New goals. Same bad decisions.

The Meathead is stacked with unapologetic amounts of pepperoni, meatballs, and sausage—because “protein loading” absolutely counts as training.

Eat it after leg day. Eat it instead of leg day. Either way, your resolution never stood a chance.

Cheese w/ Fresh Basil

Our Classic Cheese Pizza.
Subtly flavored with fresh Basil leaves.

Plain-ass Pepperoni

Pepperoni, sprinkled
with Parmesan cheese.

Spicy-Ass pepperoni

Pepperoni and Banana Peppers,
with Sriracha Sauce & Red Pepper Flakes.

Mushroom
w/ Roasted Garlic

Mushrooms with a Sprinkling of
Roasted Garlic.

Vegan
Fake-Ass Pepperoni

(Somehow) Meatless Pepperoni
with Selfish Cow Vegan Cheese.

Vegan
Fake-ASS BBQ Chick’n

Vegan BBQ tossed Chick’n
with Selfish Cow Vegan Cheese
& a swirl of Vegan Ranch.

POPULAR AF PIES

Available as Whole Pies only

  • Mikey likes Pepperoni, Mushrooms and Banana Peppers on his pizza. That’s what’s up.

  • Extra strength Pepperoni, Mushroom and Sausage.

  • Pepperoni and Sausage. Meat on meat.

  • Thicc-cut, cup and char Pepperoni, sprinkled with Parmesan Cheese.

  • A complete mess of Pepperoni, Sausage, Banana Peppers, Mushrooms, Onions and extra Cheese.

  • A full-frontal veggie assault: green peppers, mushrooms, and onions. No meat. No mercy.

  • Choose from our topping options and build your whole pie however you like. Get creative. Get weird.

    SAUCE
    (Classic Red, Classic White, Spicy Red)

    CHEESE
    (Classic Pizza Cheese, Vegan Cheese)

    MEAT
    {Pepperoni, Thicc-Ass Pepperoni, Sausage, Bacon)

    VEGGIES
    (Basil, Mushrooms, Banana Peppers, Onions, Green Peppers)