Late Night Slice Adds Marijuana as Available Topping

 Local well-endowed late night eatery, Mikey’s Late Night Slice will be setting the bar even higher today as they announce they will be adding marijuana to their list of available pizza toppings. In a bold move and something only allowed by the recent decriminalization of marijuana, Mikey’s, as of today, will allow customers to order whole pies adorned with an assortment of pot and pot-related products. 


“This is in no way a shift away from traditional pizza or pizza toppings,” says owner Mikey Sorboro. “We’re just trying to make all the god-damned money we can make and weed on pizza seems like a no-brainer.” The available list of cannabis toppings will include, Potpperoni (a cannabis infused pepperoni), AVB Marijuana Sprinkle, Cheeba Cheese, Heady Heady Hella-Dank Italian Sausage, Sticky Icky Magic Marinara, Ganja Grape Tomatoes, Kief-Crusted Bacon Bits, Fatty Green Peppers and… Mushrooms. The chain’s infamous pizza dipping sauces will also get some new additions. “I’m really excited about our new line of Stoner Sauces,” says Chief Creative Officer Jason Biundo. “Garlic Dabs and Resin Ranch are straight fire, bro!” he continued before giggling to himself.  


“This is all about efficiency,” added company CEO Bryce Ungerott. “You can get the munchies and cure the munchies all at once. Why waste precious time doing these things separately?” he explained while finishing off the last of a large box of marshmallow Peeps.   


Not a stranger to controversy, Late Night Slice isn’t exactly sure about the actual legality of offering marijuana on pizza. “It isn’t quite clear if we’re even allowed to do this, but YUM! Brands (Late Night Slice’s parent company) has assembled an unbeatable team of lawyers specifically to get us out of messes like this, plus they pretty much let us do whatever we want, so f#%k it,” says Mikey Sorboro.